Several years ago I was a Youth Pastor in a rural church in "The South". There was a young girl just entering her teenage years who was battling an illness known as aplastic anemia. Shortly after I arrived at the church this young girl was scheduled to go through a routine operation, which was supposed to make her much better as I understand it. The young girl died unexpectedly on the operating table. I was asked to go to the middle school at which she was a student to help with grief counseling. This young girl was extremely happy and friendly, and was friends with virtually every person at her middle school.
I found myself giving all of the pat answers to the students as well as other people in the church; "she's in a better place now", "she is no longer in pain", and "you will be able to see her again someday". However I found that most of these were met with angry looks, rolled eyes, or no look at all. I found that what people needed was to be able to grieve and move on. So, I put together a memorial service during which people were encouraged to come forward and share happy times and fond memories.
The point is that sometimes we simply need time to heal. As a Youth Pastor I am telling you that ministry is tough, thankless, and unforgiving most of the time. Cancer is no respecter of persons. And so my wife and I have been in an extended transition for the last year or so. Nevertheless God remains faithful. I have been able to continue in youth ministry, and Lisa has recovered and is teaching in a Christian school. I am eagerly waiting for God to show us what His will is for us, although I know that it most likely will not appear in the form I desire or expect.